Bizarre Real Life Animal Laws

In North Carolina, it is against the law to use elephants to plow cotton fields.

In New York City, one is forbidden from shooting rabbits from the back end of a Third Avenue streetcar when it is moving.

In Kansas, people cannot shoot rabbits while in a motorboat.

In Statesville, North Carolina, it is against the law to race rabbits in the streets.

In Tuscumbia, Alabama, no more than eight rabbits can reside on the same block.

A law in Detroit, Michigan, prohibits crocodiles from being tied to a fire hydrant.

Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs in Brooklyn, New York.

In Baltimore, Maryland, it is necessary to document any services performed by a jackass.

In Ohio, it is against the law to set a fire under your mule if it balks.

In Arkansas, if your 2-year-old mule runs wild and is unclaimed within 2 days, anyone may castrate the animal.

In Marshalltown, Iowa, a horse will be breaking the law if it eats a fire hydrant.

People can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog in Oklahoma.

Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

In Tulsa, Oklahoma, dogs are prohibited from going on private property unless the owner gives his consent first.

In Chicago, it is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera.

Dogs are strictly forbidden from riding in ambulances in Westport, Massachusetts.

Wallace, Idaho, decreed it is unlawful for anyone to sleep in a dog kennel.

In Clawson, Michigan, a law specifically makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens. But the animals may not be in the house after sunup or during the day.

Florida has a law prohibiting the transporting of livestock on school buses.

If you live in Franklin, Kentucky, you can't legally trade horses after dark.

In Alabama, no mules can be traded after supper when the sun has already gone below the horizon.

In Idaho, you can't buy or sell chickens after sundown without the sheriff's permission.

It is illegal to lasso a catfish in Tennessee and the state of Washington.

In Seattle, goldfish can ride the city buses in bowls only if they keep still.

You cannot shoot fish with a bow and arrow in Louisville, Kentucky.

You cannot shoot fish with a gun in the state of Washington or in Hazelhurst, Mississippi.

It's against the law to get a fish drunk in Oklahoma.

In Kansas, you cannot fish with your bare hands, while in the state of Washington, you can't catch a fish by throwing a rock at it.

Source: http://comedy-zone.net/jokes/laugh/animals/animals001.htm

A Golden Nugget

In a South American mining district Mrs. Brown presented her husband with a 12 pound baby boy. Mr. Brown was so delighted that he went to the News office and told that he had found a 12 pound nugget of gold as good as any to be found in South America. The paper, naturally, sent a reporter to get particulars.

This is what happened:

Reporter - Does Mr. Brown live here?
Mrs. Brown - He does.
Reporter - Is he in?
Mrs. Brown -No he isn't.
Reporter - I understand he found a nugget of gold weighing 12 pounds?
Mrs. Brown - (Seeing the joke) Yes.
Reporter - Can you show me the exact location where it was found?
Mrs. Brown - I'm afraid Mr. Brown would object as it is private.
Reporter - Is the hole far from here?
Mrs. Brown - No, it is quite handy.
Reporter - Has Mr. Brown been working the claim long?
Mrs. Brown - Almost ten months.
Reporter - Was Mr. Brown the first to work it?
Mrs. Brown - He thought he was.
Reporter - Was the work difficult?
Mrs. Brown - It was at first but easier after the shaft opened.
Reporter - Is the water plentiful?
Mrs. Brown - Yes, sufficient to carry on the work.
Reporter - Has he gotten to the bottom yet?
Mrs. Brown - No, but quite near it.
Reporter - Do you think there are any more nuggets?
Mrs. Brown - Yes, if the claim is properly worked.
Reporter - Has he worked it since he found the nugget?
Mrs. Brown - No, but I told him it was time to start.
Reporter - Do you help him?
Mrs. Brown - I do my level best.
Reporter - do you think he will sell the claim?
Mrs. Brown - No, he finds too much pleasure in working it himself.
Reporter - Can I see the nugget?
Mrs. Brown - Certainly!

She brought the baby in for inspection.
The embarrassed reporter was nowhere to be seen.....

Source: Dagger on Yahoo! Answers

Blonde on a Flight

The plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde in economy class gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, "i'm blond, i'm beautiful, i'm going to Houston and i'm staying right here."

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde sitting in first class that belongs in
economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful,i'm going to Houston and i'm staying right here."

the co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "you say she is a blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "oh, i'm sorry." and she gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

I told her, "first class isn't going to Houston"


Source: By Calamaty Jane on Yahoo! Answers

Mixed Bag

In a similar vein, a man walks into his psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but underwear made of Saran Wrap.

"Well," says the shrink, "I can clearly see you're nuts."

Wrong Answer

Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job, and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men had only missed one of the questions on the test. All the other questions were answered correctly. The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thanks to both of you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job."

Murphy said, "And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish, I should get the job!"

The manager replied, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."

"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" asked Murphy.

The manager replied, "Simple. The American put down for question five, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'"



Who wants to be a millionaire?

A husband and wife are watching "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire," and the husband winks and says, "Honey, let's go upstairs..."

The wife says no, so the husband asks again. Again she says no.

So the husband says, "Is that your final answer?" The wife says yes.

The husband says, "Well, can I phone a friend?"

Osama's Latest Video Unleashed

I'm not going to tell you what's his message is. You'll have to check it out yourself.


Have you seen the movie Zodiac? Don't you think the situation is somewhat similar... media promoting terrorism?

To Be or Not To Be........ a Blond

Green Side Up...

One day a woman decided to have all the rooms in her house painted, so she called a painter to come over and give her an estimate on how much it would cost. The painter arrived, and the woman brought him into the dining room.

"What color would you like this room painted?" he asked.

"Green," the woman replied. The painter nodded and wrote something down on his notepad. Then he went over to the nearest open window and yelled out, "Green side up!"

The woman thought this was odd but continued on to the kitchen.

"What color would you like this room painted?" he asked.

"Yellow," the woman replied. Again, the man nodded, wrote something down on his notepad, and went over to the nearest open window. "Green side up!" he yelled.

The woman was puzzled, but figured that he was a professional, so she shouldn't question him.

The whole tour continued like this; the woman becoming more & more suspicious each room they went through that the painter leaned out the open window and yelled, "Green side up!"

Finally they were finished and the woman couldn't stand it any longer. She asked the painter, " Why did you yell 'Green side up' out the window every time I told you what color I wanted the rooms painted? I don't want every room painted green!"

The painter laughed. "I know. I wrote down the colors you wanted your rooms to be painted. But I had to keep yelling 'Green side up' out the windows because I have a crew of blondes across the street laying sods of grass."

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Space Race

A Russian, an American, and a blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

The blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

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Blonde School Days

A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"
"Yes, dear, it's because you're blonde."

The following day the girl came skipping home from school again.
"Mummy, Mummy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? a, b, c, d, e, f, g!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"
"Yes, dear, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school once again.
"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a fine pair of 36C breasts.
"Very good," said her somewhat embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"
"No, dear, it's because you're 25."

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Question: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator. A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground. Who picks it up?






Answer: The pregnant woman... the other two aren't real !'

These Aren't Supposed To Be Funny - Says Who???

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Passive Gorilla Video... or is it?