Not So Blind Jokes...

Blind Meets Blond

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the lady next to him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The lady says back to the blind man, "Look honey, I'm blonde. The lady behind me is a 300-pound professional wrestler and she is a blonde. The bartender is blonde. The woman sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"

The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."

A Blind Man's Visit to Texas

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Please Don't flush, don't flush!"

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A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. "There is a blind man to see you," she says. "Well, if he is a blind man, then it doesn't matter if I'm in the shower. You can send him in."

The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: "That's nice and all, ma'am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?"
If love is blind, lingerie makes great braille.

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One day I was talking to my friend, and he said, "Yep, I'm color blind to one color." Then I asked him what color was he color blind to, and he said, "I don't know. I haven't seen it yet."

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Blind At The Bar

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"

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Christmas Celebration of a Blind

On Christmas a blind man and his family were all in the living room opening presents. The next one came from his son which was a brand new cheese grater. The blind man thanked him and said that was very kind of him.

Next week his son came over and asked if he liked the present.
The old man said it was very short and was the most violent book he ever read.